Transitioning Without Toddler Tantrums

Mia’s hair whips behind her, tangling together as she races to the slide and clambers her way up before she turns around to slide right back down again. Her giggles echo across the playground, mixing in with the shouts and squeals of the other children. I call to her that it is time to go as I pick up her brother and she hurries over to me and we walk to the car together to leave.

Yes, it’s that simple. No arguing, no negotiating, no toddler tantrum. How in the world did we reach this point? Let me tell you.

First, I really wish this was my idea. I wish I could say that I came up with this method of preventing toddler tantrums during transition times all on my own, because that would make me the mom of the year. Right? But I didn’t come up with this one. I actually read it on another mom blog, and I can’t remember which one and Google is NOT helping me find it! So, if you’ve run into this method from another mom, let me know so I can link her post!

Provide a Time of Adjustment

So, What’s the Big Secret? – Giving the toddler time to do one last thing.

Think about it. As an adult, we don’t like to be interrupted when we are in the middle of working on a project or cooking supper, or any other task. For kids, their tasks are playing and having fun, and they don’t like to be interrupted either.

Now, when we are interrupted as adults, we are a lot more willing to cooperate when we are given a warning right? That’s why we have schedules. If someone pops their head in and says meeting in 5 minutes, we have time to finish up, pack up, and mentally set ourselves to change tasks.

Kids need this too! The problem is, they don’t have the same concept of time as we do. It flies when they are having fun and drags on and on when they have to sit and eat their veggies. Right? So, they DON’T UNDERSTAND 5 minutes. Telling my 2 year old that we are leaving in 5 minutes doesn’t help prepare her to change tasks. She doesn’t know what it means.

Wording the Warning that It’s Time to Go

So, instead of telling her, we are leaving in 5 minutes. We ask her, “Mia, we are going to leave soon, what is one last thing you want to do before we go?”

If we are at the park, it is usually always a slide. If we are at someone’s house, it could be a toy, book, etc. that she wants. Either way, we are warning her that she has time to finish up her playing with one last task, and then we are leaving.

When she is done, we say it is time to go and we leave.

Stick to It

Now, this didn’t work the first attempt, or the second attempt. She always wanted to do one more thing after the last activity she picked, but we did NOT allow her to. We stuck to what we said and we left while the meltdown ensued, carrying her to the car while her cries reverberated over the playground.

Then, a time or two after that, it worked! I said it was time to go after her last thing, and she followed us to the car. Now it’s an automatic response. I tell her one last thing, she does it, and we leave. No toddler tantrum or meltdown.

Toddler Tantrums: Prevention

This method has worked well for us because we have made it a routine. Don’t let it make you think our toddler doesn’t have tantrums ever, because she does! Bedtime is the worst! We are still trying to work out a routine for that transition. Mia is so into her playing that going to bed is the ultimate end to the fun. We started trying the “One Last Thing” method at bedtime this week, so I hope it will help. One last thing before it is time to get into jammies and read a story. I will let you know how it works out in the future.

What do you do to prevent toddler tantrums in your household? We need to start implementing routines with Wyatt as well! Is there a method that is golden for your toddler right now? We are accepting ideas for meal times as well!! 😀

The struggle with toddlers is that as soon as we find something that works for a week or two, it seems like it fails soon after that, so an abundance of ideas is necessary! Share them in the comments below!